27 07 2008

I am brilliant. I impulsively got chinese takeout on my way home from work and then proceeded to do not one but TWO 20-minute pilates workouts from my new DVD set. I am not someone you would see on the street and say “Oh wow, that girl is IN SHAPE. She must be quite athletic and fit!”. Not to say that I’m a fat tub of lard or anything either, I just.. don’t actively (hah) participate in most physical activities.

Regardless, I bought a pilates dvd set from Amazon, which has eight 20 minute workouts (4 beginner, 4 intermediate) spread across four dvds. I noticed that the “required equipment” was a balance ball and a stretchy rubber strip thing. I was INCREDIBLY stoked to buy the ball though, because I’ve always wanted one to bounce around the house on and to throw into bandit’s face-regions when they try to break into my house, because LORD knows I don’t have the muscles or strength to fight them off with my bare hands. ANYWAYS! Bryan and I went to Wal-mart to see if they had balls (heh) only to discover, shortly after walking in, that we had NO idea where to find them.

Bryan: I think they’re in the… sports equipment section.

Emily: Yeah! I bet they are! But.. where is the sports equipment section, exactly?

Bryan: I only know where the electronics section is…

Emily: Clearly we are not the athletic type. But godDAMN can we reccomend a good PS3 game or two.

Bryan: What are the chances that Pilates balls are in the rack beside the BSG boxsets?

Emily: Slim to none. Closer to none, methinks.

Bryan: Fuck.

So we wandered around Wal Mart for awhile, killing a LOT of time in the toy section (Did you know that Wal Mart doesn’t sell Lego? ANY Lego? Isn’t that apalling?!) before finally finding the Sports area, where I triumphantly discovered a balance ball + strechy rubber thing combo box set for only $19.96 — SCORE!

Anywho, I did a 20 minute Total Body Workout first, and am nowhere NEAR as fit as the instructor, nor will I ever be. But I survived, and was putting the DVD back into the case when I noticed the Workout On The Ball disc. Clearly, being horrendously unathletic, I should have stopped at one workout. But.. I really wanted to fuck around on that giant ball. So I popped it in. MISTAKE. TERRIBLE IDEA. I now hurt everywhere. If they could, my muscles would tear away from my bones and leap away from the awful woman who abused them so. I think that If I stuck to ONE workout per day (or per few days, more than likely) that these pilates tapes might save my squishy stomach from a lifetime of squishiness, but I need to practice so that I don’t suck so much.




3 responses

28 07 2008

HA!!! This almost makes me want to start doing pilates or yoga, except for the whole flesh ripping from bones shit.
Ah damn you post distracted me from the episode of Voyager I was watching, now there are Vikings, WTF, why are there Vikings on Star Trek?

28 07 2008

Oh my gosh. I totally just started doing yoga as of yesterday. Freaky! I have a Yoga for Dummies dvd, which is much better than I expected. I am totally loving it, except for the having to take a handful of Ibuprofen so that I can sleep at night and not writhe in pain.
Also, my local Walmart sells Lego, maybe it is a Canada thing, eh?

28 07 2008

PS- I’m totally thinking about getting one of these blogs just so I can have a cooler picture than the little swirly blue dot.

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